Thursday, April 7, 2016

Why This Craving...?

Train crossing the Ob River in Novosibirsk in fall.
What is it I really want?

When I close my eyes
and imagine a cool breeze
gently brushing my cheeks

or

brisk rivulets stealing my breath
as they soak my hair
run down my face
pour over me

or stronger still the urge

to thrust my head
into the nearest snowdrift
I almost taste the relief 
as I picture it

But
is that really how it will be?

Is it possible
for any of these things
(the last especially)
to satisfy me?

What do I hope to receive?

Do I equate refreshing, renewal, relief- 
with wet, with cold?

Does my brain need cooling off?

Do I think it will numb my mind?

Is it a reprieve from FEELING 
that I crave, 
that I think I need?

Even my cravings 
are foreign to me
I do not understand them.

But

I guess I know
they will not give what I long for

Temporary at best
relief that will not last
and maybe
yes, probably
in one case at least
end with a headache.

the imagined relief 
eluding me.

I know this.
But admit it?
I feel despair.

Oh, But You say 
Streams of living water
will well up inside me  (John 7:38)

You say
justice will roll on like a river
righteousness like a mighty stream  (Amos 5:24)
and You say
Your word will fall like rain
like gentle showers (Deut. 32:2)(Is. 55:10)
You

You 
will be like rain falling on a field
like showers watering the earth (Psalms 32:6)

You
You will wash me
white
as snow (Is.1:18)(Ps. 51:7)
snow that refreshes (Prov. 25:13)
and  I,
You say if I thirst
to come to You and drink  (John 7:37)

You are my water
and what if,
what if I come,
and drink
and then
Fling myself in
to Your depths
immersed
in Your waters
surrounded 
by You

Maybe then
in You
my brain will feel
cool.
 


Linking up with Velvet Ashes at The Grove where the theme this week is "Crave"

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4 comments:

  1. I am so thankful to know the one who truly satisfies. Living in a place where we go "without" so often it is good to know he is all we need

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going without - in the early days in Russia there were things that we craved that we couldn't get. Now we find that when we are "back home" (where home actually gets confusing) we crave things from Russia that aren't available THERE. Your "going without" is different - but still the same truth applies - He IS ALL WE NEED. If we weren't 'going without' these things, they still wouldn't satisfy. And so going without seems to help teach us how much we need to rely so much more on Him.

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  2. Michele, your post is so deep and powerful. And I love your song with the slide show of water pictures from all over the world. You have a real ministry with your poetry and music. Thanks for blessing us.

    ReplyDelete