Thursday, December 17, 2015

Did You Ever Wake and Wonder Where You Were?

I wonder
about how You were born
into this land (Luke 2:6-7)
Yours
but alien to You
rejecting You (John 1:11)

and I wonder
about how I am part of that rejecting
and yet
the same world rejects me, too. (John 15:19)

I think
about how 
I wake up in the night
from scattered, weary dreams
and can't remember where I am
deeply feeling the pain 
of knowing I should be somewhere else
part of something else 
that I am so far from now.

And I wonder
if You also
woke in the night
suddenly
from dreams 
of thrones and gold 
and shepherds and kings
and hay
and dust and sweat 
and a terrible tree
a holy place
a place of death...

...if You woke 
with a start
not sure where You were
sinking back into Your bed


the knowing
that something's terribly wrong
soaking into You
hoping it's not true
longing to please just awaken from it
and remembering - 
You can't

I wonder

if You felt trapped.  
Did You long for the day
You could finally get back to 
that other place?
Alien thirst (John 19:28)
finally quenched
as desert
fades away... (Mark 1:12)

Were Your dreams restless and sad?
or full of a glory You should have been able to touch
but just couldn't quite reach
though it filled Your dreams
did it hurt so much
when You woke 
leaving You
longing
empty
of all that was part of You
before 
You emptied Yourself
for us. (Phil 2:6-8)

so close
so far away

did the thirst (John 19:28)
for all that should be
follow You 
like a pervasive ache...?

Did You flinch awake
when you woke in the night
with a newborn's cries
of the pain 
of the separation? (Mark 15:33-34)

You were born into our desert

and

I wonder...

did You ever wake
with a start in the night
and have to remember where You were?

 
Linking up with Velvet Ashes at The Grove where the theme this week is "Ponder"


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6 comments:

  1. So interesting to ponder. That will be a question I will ask in heaven.. what did Jesus think and feel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michele, this is so beautiful . . . I love how very much I feel like I got to hear a conversation between you and God. And helped us know we're not alone in our wonderings :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Amy! Actually, it pretty much WAS a conversation between me and God. :-)

      Delete
  3. Hauntingly beautiful. Love these thoughts. Especially this:
    "And I wonder
    if You also
    woke in the night
    suddenly
    from dreams
    of thrones and gold
    and shepherds and kings
    and hay
    and dust and sweat
    and a terrible tree
    a holy place
    a place of death..."
    Thank you for your words. They are a gift.

    ReplyDelete