Dream

Enjoy
this day
this time
with You

maybe all is not ideal
maybe
the day didn't shape up 
like I wanted it to but
You
are here
Your hand
on all I see

and I may not feel so good 
but

today
You
dreamed up this blue sky
for me
this hue 
this shade
today

I
wrap it around me
close my eyes
or open them
and dream

of You


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How do You feel?
When they fall down before You? (Mark 3:11-12) 

These creatures that You made
Who do not love You

crying out who You are
but rejecting You in their hearts


They do not want You
They do not want to need You
Though they know the life You hold

What goes through Your mind?
In that moment before You tell them not to tell? (Mark 3:12)

Falling down before You
Proclaiming who You are
Rejecting You in their hearts

It would be better for them to be silent...



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They knew You...(Mark 3:11)

Had they walked with You
in another place?
before...?

Did You...know them?

Did You recognize them? 
As they fell down before You
Did You know them by name?
Did the images of what they once were
flash across Your heart?
What they once were...
What they no longer are...

Five sparrows sold for two cents You said, 
but not one of them forgotten by You. (Luke 12:6)

The very hairs on my head - all numbered...(Luke 12:7)
and 
I know...

You knew them
each
by name. 

You created each one
And now?
You see them like this
falling down
before You
as they should
as they must

but not out of love.  

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Here I am
looking at You
trying to understand

what went wrong
why I don't get it
why I'm confused
and hurt and

what I missed

You speak



but there's something

something behind Your words
that I just don't see

And my own words
aren't hitting the mark 
at all
my own words
are no longer
making sense to me.


    ~
My culture
beats against Yours
struggling
to take the upper hand
determined
to be the one to win

Your culture
lays itself down
dies
so I can understand

...so I can hope again.

    ~ 
You talk about love
and taking up
one's cross
losing your life
to find it

I talk about
what I can get
how to get ahead
how to gain the world
and i find

My culture
my ways
slam into Yours

shatter around me
all these
pieces of nothing

the things of men

How do I trade them?
My culture

for Yours?

the things of God
the things of God
the things of God

(Mark 8:33-36) 

 
Linking up with Velvet Ashes at The Grove where the theme this week is "Culture Clash"

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What can I learn from a small boat ready? (Mark 3:9)

That it's ok to need space?
  
Even You needed space.

Although I hate to think of You needing space from me, I don't like that idea at all 

but You did, You needed space - room to move, to breathe.




While You WERE crushed for our sins, 
You weren't crushed by the crowd -

because You had this small boat You used when You needed room -

Needing room wasn't selfish.

Needing room was necessary.

so You could continue doing what You were here to do
rather than being used up, crushed before Your time - 
so You would be able to fulfill Your ultimate purpose. 

It's not wrong to have a small boat ready.
It's not wrong to sometimes need a buffer from the crowd.
It's not an indication of weakness or selfishness.

But an awareness of needs and limitations...
and true usefulness.  


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Don't forget to embrace the adventure - 
because life is an adventure, and adventures are often hard 
though the stories, well, they all skip the boring parts, the tedious parts 
but you know they're there
all adventures have their share
of dusty roads and uncomfortable shelters
but the stories skip over the awkwardness of how are we going to eat (unless they can make it exciting or highlight some unusual skill), and getting used to new foods and learning how to cook in new ways
and how they cleaned up after
or what the "facilities" were like
or how did they wash their clothes? - DID they wash their clothes?
Oh, and headaches and upset stomachs
they also skip all that...


but new lands have new foods and you have to eat every day
and it affects your stomach and your tongue and maybe

even your disposition
so
find something, some foods - at least ONE - that you LIKE to eat in this new place
(and to find something you like, you're going to have to try some new things) 
- and then look for it and rejoice when you find it, like a treasure hunt 
and if it's a local dish, learn how to make it so you can eat it whenever you want
and so you can teach your mom...one day...
...and when nostalgia for an old taste is haunting you - see if you can make those old home meals with what you can find in your new place - experiment - substitute local ingredients - because every discovery is part of the adventure...


and speaking of discovery

new lands have new places 
so
explore your new streets and paths - 
go up and down and find
places that speak to your heart
trees or streams, buildings, or fields, fountains, flowers or clouds
that evoke emotion
that stir a reaction
that leave you moved and 
different...

let where you live be your home
not just a place
settle in to your living space
you live here now 
so LIVE here, BE here, while you are here, 
do those things that make a home of your tent, flat, cottage, wherever you are
be at home


It helps to feel at home if you can talk.
In the adventure stories everyone knows the new language perfectly already
or learns it quickly
or doesn't need it at all
or at least skips the drudgery of having to learn it, coming in half a year to a year after the studies 
but the real adventure - well, we all know what really went down, that grammar and pronunciation and vocabulary had to be there, and that awkwardness (so much is awkward on an adventure) of getting your mouth and brain around new words and all
but, oh, there is a beauty in it, you know, even if the stories skip that part - even if it IS difficult 
because communication is the whole reason for it and the WORD is beautiful (but so sharp it can cut you)
so work hard on the language in your first year, whether you become fluent or not 
because language is love

and

...make friends who only speak your new language - make friends with them determinedly, 
because people are what makes the place
and when you start to know people, you start to know the land
and you start to see it 
and love it
and you start to understand
and when you start loving them
you want to learn to talk to them
you NEED to learn to talk to them
and your efforts to learn this new language begin to make sense
and it becomes a beautiful thing
that circles around


but don't give up your interests - they are part of what makes you interesting - to yourself and those around you
and they give you some things to communicate about with those new folks you've met
and a reason to love those new words you're learning
and a way to not completely lose yourself in this new land and new experience
and they're part of what made you the person you are here and now
so
if you like painting, paint - and if you like quilting, quilt - 
don't stop being who you are...


Adventure stories skip along from exciting moment to exciting moment but can anyone actually live that way?  I tried it my first year in a new land and
I wore myself out
until someone wiser told me I needed to pace myself, because
a marathon and a sprint are two different things and you learn to pace yourself for the distance you've decided to run...
so
give yourself space.  Room for the adjustments, room for all the new changes in your life because
if you are too crowded, you can't move
and you need to make sure you have a small boat ready like Jesus did (Mark 3:9)
and a day off
and buffers here and there
space
to grieve the loss of old friends and places, 
space to adjust, 
space to rest, to learn
space to be who you are -
still you, just you in a new land.


...don't be afraid to be you.  Don't be afraid to admit you're sad or struggling or that you're longing for home.  Your new friends will understand - they'd imagine how they would be longing for home, too.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  

and

Don't try to look too far ahead.  You don't have to know if you can make it 3 years, 5 years, 20 years - "don't worry about tomorrow" (Matt.6:34). No one knows what tomorrow will bring.  You can't carry all those tomorrows on your shoulders today - or live them all in this moment - all you have to do - all you CAN do - is live TODAY.  And you can do that.   Live each day one day at a time...and one day, one of these days, you may look back and be surprised at what the single days have grown into, surprised that this place that was once so strange to you, is firmly entrenched in your heart, a place you now grieve to leave.  

Always remember God is here.  This land that is so new to you isn't new to Him at all...and He loves it, and He loves them, and He loves you.

and last of all
don't forget to embrace the adventure - because it IS an adventure, even in the boring, tedious parts, even in the hard parts...

It's just a real one.

Linking up with Velvet Ashes at The Grove where the theme this week is "Tips For Your First Year"

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