He could have been thinking of Your purposes and whether or not healing him would fulfill Your plans - God's plans - and be for God's glory. Sometimes You don't do what I want because You have a
greater purpose...
...but I doubt that's what he was thinking about.
I think he had a different question.
Am I worthy enough?
or
Would God bother with one like me?
or
Why would God even bother with me?
I have no trouble believing that You can do anything. I know You can. I have seen You do many things.
But sometimes I struggle with believing You will do these things for ME.
At times it's just a temper tantrum: I want my own way and I don't want to submit to Yours.
But sometimes there's a deeper question, a fear that maybe I am not worth the trouble, that I am not
Significant enough
Good enough
Worthy enough
Important enough
Loved enough
....?
Even though I know - I already know what this man with leprosy didn't know yet.
He has an excuse for doubting Your willingness, for doubting if You WOULD do what You CAN do.
I have none.
I turn pages and see over and over again the lengths You were willing to go to. I look at my life and I see You reaching out to touch me in spite of what touching me will cost You.
You don't always do what I want. But it will never be because of a lack of love for me or an unwillingness on Your part to exert Yourself.
You've already answered that question for me.
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